February 13, 2023

Are You Feeling Lonely and Disconnected?

Loneliness is a common experience that can affect all of us at some point in our life. It can be described as a feeling of being alone, isolated, or disconnected from others, even in the presence of other people. This feeling is often triggered by a variety of events, including the loss of a loved one, childhood trauma, moving to a new place, or feeling like you don’t fit in with your peers. While everyone experiences feelings of loneliness from time to time, chronic loneliness can have serious impact on mental and physical health.

Loneliness in adulthood may sometimes be a result of trauma experienced in childhood. Childhood trauma can disrupt the development of healthy social and emotional skills, leading to difficulties in forming and maintaining close relationships in adulthood. People may have trust issues and difficulty with

 intimacy, which can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. They may also struggle with emotional regulation and experience symptoms of anxiety and depression, which can further contribute to their feelings of loneliness.

Why do I feel Lonely?-
I have People in my Life.

Loneliness can be a complex emotion. While it is commonly associated with being alone, it is possible to feel lonely even when you are in a relationship. Sometimes people experience feelings of loneliness and isolation even when they are in what they consider to be a good relationship. This can be a difficult and confusing experience, and it is important to understand what causes these feelings and what you can do to overcome them.

One of the main reasons why people in relationships may feel lonely is due to a lack of emotional intimacy and connection. Even if you are physically close to your partner, you may still feel distant and disconnected. This can be due to a variety of factors, including busy schedules, differences in interests and values, or simply a lack of honest communication.

Another reason why people in relationships may feel lonely is because of a lack of social support. If you and your partner are not engaging in activities or spending time with friends together, you may feel isolated and disconnected from others. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and a sense of not being  appreciated or understood.

Overcoming feelings of loneliness within a relationship

To overcome feelings of loneliness in a relationship, it is important to take steps to build emotional intimacy and connection with your partner. This can involve making time for each other, engaging in activities together, and having open and honest conversations about your feelings and needs.

It is also important to focus on building a support network outside of your relationship. This can include spending time with friends and family, joining clubs or organisations, or volunteering for causes you care about. Having a diverse and supportive network of people can help to alleviate feelings of loneliness and provide a sense of belonging and connection

The Impact of Loneliness

Studies have shown that loneliness is linked to a range of mental health problems, including depression, anxiety, and sleep disorders. 

Cognitive Function 

Studies have shown that loneliness can negatively impact cognitive function and memory, making it harder for individuals to perform well at work or school. This can also lead to a decline in self-esteem and confidence, further compounding the effects of loneliness.

Physical Health

Loneliness has been linked to a range of physical health problems, including heart disease, high blood pressure, and weakened immune systems. It has also been shown to increase the risk of premature death, making it a serious concern for public health. 

Substance Abuse

Loneliness has also been linked to an increased risk of substance abuse, such as alcohol or drug dependence. Substance abuse can be used as a way to cope with feelings of loneliness and sadness, but it can also lead to further problems and exacerbate existing health issues. If you feel you are affected in this way and are overcoming feelings of loneliness by using drugs or alcohol, consider if it is time for you to contact professional help. Either your GP or a therapist.

Chronic Loneliness

Chronic loneliness can also lead to social isolation, which in turn can worsen the feeling of loneliness and make it even more difficult to reach out and form connections with others.

This can lead to feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, and a loss of purpose, making it difficult for individuals to find meaning in their lives. If this strength of feeling resonates with you, do contact professional help – in the first instance, your GP who can guide you to further services.

Ways to Overcome Loneliness

In order to overcome loneliness and build meaningful connections with others, it may feel like you have to step outside of your comfort zone. Often it can feel difficult to push yourself to try something different. However, small steps can make a big difference to confidence and motivation.

Here are a few strategies to help you combat feelings of loneliness:

1. Reaching out to other people: Connecting with others is one of the most effective ways to overcome loneliness. Try reaching out to friends, family, or coworkers and making plans to spend time together. Perhaps join a club, sports team, or volunteering group to meet new people who share your interests. Other people will be in the same boat and be keen to meet new faces.
2. Look after yourself: Taking care of your physical and mental health is important in overcoming feelings of loneliness. Try to get enough sleep, exercise regularly, eat a healthy diet, and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
3. Volunteer: Volunteering is a great way to meet new people, and give back to your community. Look for opportunities to volunteer for a cause that you are passionate about, such as at a local food bank, hospital, or animal shelter. See here for further information on volunteering.
4. Get involved in your community: Participating in community events and activities is a great way to meet new people and build connections. Consider attending local festivals, concerts, or sporting events. Meet-up is a useful way to meet like-minded people.
5. Seek professional help: If you are struggling with feelings of loneliness that are seriously impacting your everyday life, consider seeking the help of a mental health professional. They can provide you with additional strategies and support to help you overcome loneliness and build stronger connections with others. To arrange a consultation, you can contact Claire at Insight Counselling here.

By reaching out to others, focusing on building emotional intimacy and connection with a partner, prioritising self-care, volunteering in the community, and seeking professional help where necessary, you can work to overcome feelings of loneliness and build meaningful connections with others.